There is HOPE!!!

Yesterday evening, I couldn't handle my leg dragging on the floor like that anymore. My parents stopped over and it was frightening even to them to see me try to walk like that. I had Jon call Mayo Clinic to see what their thoughts are ... should we go into the ER and have an MRI done, or just wait for our appointment?

Apparently, our appt at Mayo Clinic is with a heart Dr.

What???

They had no intentions of having me see a Neurologist, partly because the dx they were given when the appt was scheduled was POTS. We were under the impression that they would look my whole body over, and with these new symptoms of leg tingling and foot drop, we automatically thought they would address that there.

Now with these new symptoms, Mayo Clinic would like me to start with an Internist, not a Cardio-Physiologist. And my Primary Dr needs to make that change. Good thing I have that appt this Friday so we can tell him.

Anyway, we called my Primary Dr and told them I was going to the ER to get an Emergency MRI on my back because we think I have a pinched nerve.

What an amazing experience at that ER. A very good, amazing experience. And the outcome was great. You won't believe what happened ...

Of course, I'm an emotional mess on the way there. I contacted a friend from church because I was so emotional, and I knew that I wanted someone there to pray for me. My elder met us in the parking lot. He couldn't stay long, but he prayed with me in the waiting room. It was awesome that he did that.

After checking in, I was wheeled to a room. Soon after, a few more good friends from Bethany showed up and prayed with me. The Dr came in and ordered a head CT and some bloodwork. He also started the process to get me admitted, as I would need a back MRI, and for some reason, they can't do those in the ER.

While we were waiting (at that point, it was my Mom, Jon, Blake, & Aunt Jeannette), more good friends from Bethany showed up and prayed with me. And they kept trickling in. It was overwhelmingly awesome, all the love and support that the Bethany congregation was extending to us. Of course, I was crying on and off the whole time, because they reminded me that even through the trials in our lives, God is always with us. That's one thing that I'm always reminded of ... that God is always right by my side. I always knew that I wasn't alone, even though it felt like it. So to have my dear friends come by and support us was encouraging and very special to me.

After everyone had left, it was just my Mom and I waiting for my room # for the night. The Neurologist came in with a little piece of cotton. He said he would like to try a new drug on me. It's one that you put on the neck, it then works its way through the bloodstream, and within 30 seconds, the tingling should be gone. So he put it on me. And we waited a little bit. He started to move my painful, tingly foot around to get it working. He had me move my left foot so my right foot could mirror the good foot. He kept doing that, and before I knew it, my tingling was starting to go away. My strength was coming back in that leg and foot. My Mom was so excited that she wanted to buy a gallon of that medicine right away.

What was on that cotton ball? The new medicine is called ... wait for it ... "Placebo". That's right. He gave me a fake drug. It could've been water on that cotton for all I know.

I was shocked. I was angry. This Dr just messed with my head. So he's basically telling me I have anxiety. Again. What Drs have told me for many years. I started crying. I knew that I wanted a diagnosis, but not this one. This one labels me has having something wrong in my head. I don't want to be know as the "anxious girl".

But this Dr was different. He explained this anxiety issue as a very good thing. Even though I don't think I'm under stress, my body feels like it is. Being on semi-bed rest for almost 4 months with no answers is stressful. My life, the life I loved so much, abruptly stopped. That is stressful. My emotions being so out of control, that is stressful. He said even though my mind says I'm okay, (and it's not in my mind, he said), my body is causing wierd things to happen .... pseudo-seizures, pseudo-weakness, pseudo-foot dropping. He said many "normal" people experience this, and it's NOT a bad thing. We just need to get to the bottom of why my body is so stressed.

He wanted to put me on an anti-depressant, but I refuse to take those. I've had bad reactions to them in the past (hallucinations, bad withdrawal symptoms, etc) and I'm hesitant to start on them again. He said he would like me to have an outlet to "belly-ache" about my problems (he didn't use that word, he used a different word. But I'm not putting that other word in my blog). I told him I have a blog that I use as an outlet. He said I need more, and recommended the name of a good psychiatrist. I told him I've had bad luck with those in the past, and I've seen a bunch of them. But he is highly recommending her, and said she'll really help me. It's worth a shot.

So after demonstrating to both the neurologist and my Mom that I could walk around my room somewhat normally, without my cane, it was decided that I didn't need to stay there. I didn't need the MRI at this point. Mayo still may decide to do one, but that's up to them.

Oh, and one more thing ... my bloodwork and head CT came back negative. I didn't have a stroke, and I do not have MS.

I can have my life back. There IS hope. There is HOPE. I'm extremely excited!!

Praise God ... He knew it all along. He is faithful. All I had to do was continue to trust in Him and the answers would be revealed to me.