Today went amazingly well, to my surprise. There wasn't a hostile work environment, everyone got along well (as far as I could tell), and I felt quite calm inside. I am SO thankful that this day went well! Praise God!
It's amazing what reading my devotions in the morning can do. Usually I do them at night, when I'm all comfy in bed. But today, as you read in my previous blog, I did them this morning because there was no way I could get my day started without God's help. I honestly feel that made the difference. When we start our day out with God, He will help us when times get tough. I was so busy focusing on the Beth Moore statement all day long, it seemed as though everything fell into place. So maybe that's what I'll start doing ... devotionals in the morning as well as at night. Start my day with Christ, end my day with Christ. Now that I don't have to rush off to work, I can take the time to do this. Sounds like a great plan to me!
A realization came over me after I wrote this morning's blog. I thought back to the days when I went on mission trips to third-world countries. I volunteered to go on these trips. Nobody forced me. God used me to do everything, from teach Azerbaijani children English, to talk with refugees about the love that Christ has for them. There were tough times, such as meeting at an underground church out of fear of getting killed for preaching the gospel (which was illegal where we were at). But it was a wonderful feeling to help others out like this. It was something that I wanted to do, not anything I was forced to do. Then it clicked.
Why couldn't the shop be my third-world country? Obviously, the demographics and situations are completely different, but the trials and tribulations are still very similiar. So that's why I made the decision to quit working "part-time" and become a "volunteer" at the shop. It's mainly just a change of wording and not using the time clock. But I was completely amazed at my attitude towards the other employees. In my mind, they are the "refugees" who are seeking God's love. I was more patient with them. I was more understanding with them and whatever situation they are dealing with. And above all that, it felt like I had been freed from this heavy burden that I was still lugging around with me. For some reason, when I want to be at the shop, it's more joyful for me. After all, my dream is to be a "professional volunteer"... helping others as needed. As wierd as it sounds, getting paid to do it just wasn't the same.
Does this make sense? It didn't make sense as I was explaining it to my hubby, but it makes perfect sense in my mind.
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